What do I feel like today...

I really didn't feel like doing much today.

This morning started out about the same as any other day. But after breakfast, the kids scattered to various play places in the house and I saw an opportunity for some quiet time with the Lord. Well, by the third line my eyes started to cross and I got VERY sleepy. I'm sure it has nothing to do with staying up until almost one last night, just puttering around. One thing led to another and before I knew it, I was napping on the couch and my children were watching a movie with out an ounce of family devotions, school or house work done.

So, today has taken a different turn. We have managed to take on a few creative activities and the time away from a strict school schedule has helped me to evaluate some things (which I might blog later). Yet, I'm still unsatisfied. I let myself down when I choose an "I don't feel like doing..." determine the course for the day. I also worry about my children. One of my greatest hopes to teach them is a strong discipline and self control which should imply a strong work ethic. I think I let them down today too. Not that they noticed today, but if this day becomes habit, they might feel it in 10 or 15 years and then regret it, swearing to do things differently when they have children of their own.

Dr Laura's blog confirmed this for me and encourages me to strengthen my own discipline and self control. Read the full post with video here. This is an excerpt:

... you know what I hear so often?
“I just don’t feel like it!”
“Should I have to have sex with my husband when I don’t feel like it?”
“Should I have to go to my wife’s parent’s house when I don’t feel like it?”
Man oh man, where do we get the idea that the only things you do are the things that just make you feel good? Running into a burning building, I don’t think, makes a fireman feel good. But he has a commitment to saving lives.

This email, from Tracie, speaks to this. She said she’s been a listener for 13 years. Thank you. She said, “I often come across things about which I think, ‘Dr. Laura would probably like this’.” Evidently she’s a huge Ralph Waldo Emerson geek and she came to this quote and sent it to me. Quote: “The force of character is cumulative. All the foregone days of virtue work their health into this.” “The first sentence, ‘The force of character is cumulative’,” she writes, “hit me like a brick. I’ve read this a hundred times and for some reason, on this evening, it resonated with me in some inexplicable way. My husband goes to work, day in and day out, even when he’s tired and worn down. My mother faithfully calls each member of our large, extended family on a regular basis to keep us all together. I cook our family’s meals, even when I’m tired, the baby’s crying, the three year old kid is whining…well that’s character. And with that is honor. I thought of you and how you tell us all, your listeners I mean, that very thing each day in a thousand different ways. Even when you, Dr. Laura, are tired or cranky or don’t feel much like speaking into a microphone for some reason. Character is born out of a dedication that eventually becomes habit. Reading that quote from Emerson reminded me that there are so many ways I don’t live up to that standard, but it is sure something to work toward. I’ve written it in bold, black ink and I’m putting it on my refrigerator to remind me that character is cumulative; it becomes a habit. Thank you for being a role model,” (thank you!), “and providing the support for those of striving to build our cumulative characters.”